Photo Update: 6th-8th Jan 2016, Malacca Trip

My family and I went for a short trip to Malacca early this year because my mother wanted to go for a short getaway with just the family. To be honest, there really isn't much to do there but we stayed in a lovely villa and got some good shopping done so all was peachy. Even though (or probably because) there weren't many activities, we took LOADS of photographs:

Up super early to catch the bus towards Malacca!

Macs breakfast wrap!

Because I'm an absolute baby, I brought my favourite stuff toy (affectionately and creatively known as "dogleg") along the trip (much to the disgust of my mother). 

After about 5 hours we finally arrived!

 It was so hot, this home made lemon sorbet was wonderful. 

Living area in our villa. 

My parents' master bedroom. 

They had a magnificent ensuite with a huge tub that we did not use I believe. 

The bedroom my sister and I shared. 

The view from our living area. 

The room and bed was so comfortable I was ready to just lay down and slack the day away.

But of course we had to head out!

Did not expect to do much shopping but unexpectedly found some cute pieces at the departmental store! We shopped for about 2 hours before looking for food.

Cute little kitty just lounging.

Traditional Peranakan food for dinner which I don't particularly fancy (because it's like regular Chinese food to me which I don't like either). 

When we got back to the villa it was already twilight. 

There were some complimentary drinks but I opted for some watermelon juice.

My family had different ideas. 

I was hungry because I didn't eat much dinner so we ordered some room service to share! The food didn't taste amazing but it was alright!

Night view from our balcony.

And a pig facial mask to end the night hehe. 

Woke up the next day to a sumptuous buffet breakfast! Again the food wasn't altogether amazing but it was sufficient. 

These two all bright eyed and bushy tailed. 

My dad just hungry, me with a swollen morning face haha. I would also like to clarify that all those plates do not belong to me. 

Out to Jonker Street to walk around and see the sights! A lot of places were not opened because it was a week day, but I think I may have preferred it this way even though there wasn't much because at least we weren't getting jostled and squashed in the heat.

Got me a popsicle to stave off the heat but it did not taste good sadly. 

Okay apparently this is some famous must-see tourist sight in Malacca but I forgot what it's called.

Cute uncle who took a family picture for us. 

This one in fact. 

What I really needed was for that windmill to blow some strong ass wind my way. 

My sister insisted on bringing us to this place to buy some famous traditional snacks! I don't really like these but I got some for Sam and his family!

Thought that these were adorable so I got them for his niece!

Another apparently famous place which I did not know of, we came here for chicken rice!

Served in the form of their famous rice balls.

We also found a museum dedicated to Mamee!

A cute publishing store. 

Basically the highlight of my entire trip, this little bundle of fluff!

Last stop before heading to the air-conditioned malls!

Got these from H&M, hehe. 

Someone recommend this amazing seafood place to us.

I don't have any pictures of the food but two. This is of some amazing fried pork with I-don't-know-what. 

But the highlight was of course the crab. I don't typically like crab very much but this was quite lovely. After this we walked around a little bit and then went for an invigorating massage which I unfortunately do not have any pictures of. 

Back to the villa to pig out in bed, hehe.

Waking up for breakfast on our final day in Malacca.

Went up to the rooftop pool area by myself because I felt that it would be such a waste not to, especially since it was so peaceful and quiet there. 

Okay after a while the heat started getting to me so I left as well. 

Took a quick shower and then off into the scorching sun again. 

Found myself a cheongsam for CNY!

My sister insisted we have our final lunch there at a well known restaurant, because I'm rubbish and this happened so long ago, I do not remember what its name is. It could be Grandma's....? But I feel like I'm only saying that because it sounds like a typical Chinese food restaurant name. 

I placed my book for a couple of seconds beside a fountain with my sister and when I came back... It was in the water, lol. 

Another long bus ride back to SG! My sister bought 35 famous nonya bazhang and they all got confiscated and thrown away at immigration, lol, what a damn pity.

Overall Update on the Big Things

We're just about halfway through 2016 and it has already been a tremendous year. I'd like to think that it's been a year (mainly) of triumphs. For a moment I thought of just writing a general log on what has been happening in a nutshell so as not to sound too longwinded or ramble-y, but then I realised that this is more or less a private-ish space. Who cares right??

It has been no secret that I've been working towards getting into a Speech Pathology masters programme for the past 3 years. Everything that I've done, academic or otherwise, has been calculated carefully to put me in a good position when the application period inevitably rolled around. My first choice was the prestigious MMedSci course at the University of Sheffield. Its application opened in October 2015 for the September 2016 intake - the one I was gunning for. I wanted to go there so badly because Sheffield ranks first in research, some key academics who contributed greatly to the Speech Pathology field are also academic staff there. Furthermore, I had been fortunate to become acquainted with 2 alumni from the course, a rare coincidence because they only take in 18-20 students per academic year, and both reported wonderful experiences. 

Yet the course was notoriously difficult to get in and knowing this, I pored over my application for 3 months before finally sending it in. Even then, I had a very low expectation of good news because I knew that I, with my couple of internships and observation, had little work experience compared to the local English students, many of whom worked a couple of years before applying. Yet somehow, a couple of weeks later, I was invited to a Skype interview - the last round before acceptance/rejection. 

To cut the already needlessly long story short, I bombed the interview and was rejected. The school did not even inform me of my rejection, I had waited 6 weeks before writing in to enquire about the status of my application and that was when I got the news. By then I was already more or less prepared to receive rejection but it still struck me hard. And I think that's the reason why I'm spending so much time talking about it now even though it's already over. To be honest, I never thought that I would even be considered for a position and would've been happy being passed over from the get-go. I think what made it such a bitter pill to swallow was that somehow, I made it through the shortlisting nightmare only to bomb out of the final round. The proud type A/perfectionist in me found this difficult. 

All this happened between November 2015 - early March 2016. I pushed down the disappointment (both in myself and in the situation) and went on the apply for the three Australian schools that I had in mind - Curtin University, University of Sydney, and Flinders University. Soon after that, I applied for the NCSS scholarship which I would've needed, regardless of which university I eventually chose to attend because I could not afford the fees and living expenses of studying abroad. 

Now I wish that I had written/blogged about the experience during that time, it would've been more authentic/reflect more accurately my state of mind. Basically, I was juggling my FYP in its final raging burst, teaching phonics, tutoring, coaching, and research work, on top of all the nitty gritty application processes. Thankfully, I manage stress very well and was still able to fulfil all my responsibilities due to my love for scheduling (lol Type A freak) and perfectionism. I still managed to have some rest once a week on Saturdays and was lucky to have a couple of good friends to keep me sane and grounded. Still, even though I felt more busy than stressed, and more tired than anxious, I still went to bed every night shattered with fatigue and was not let off by stress dreams. 

I could get everything done because of a certain survival instinct that I've cultivated over the years, perhaps because I grew up in a constantly competitive environment. Yet despite my smiling face, I realised that I harboured a lot of latent stress and pent up frustration (the latter is a story for another day), and that this stress was really chipping away at my good nature bit by bit. 

Fast forward to the present which is a lot less stressful and hectic, I have been offered a place at Curtin University (my first choice amongst the Australian schools and second only to Sheffield), and more importantly, have secured the NCSS scholarship which I had hoped and prayed so hard for. I find it difficult to explain the immense stress of having to jump through so many hoops (first the university, then fulfilling the conditions they set, then waiting on the scholarship without which I would not be able to get anything done) and the pleasure of finally having all that weight released.

On 18th May 2016, one day before my 24th birthday, I was having an early birthday lunch with Kanika when I received the email. 

Words cannot describe how I felt that day, even now it feels kind of surreal. I have never been a "scholar" before, hahaha. The immense relief that all I had been working for in the past 3 years was not for naught, the joy that my dream would finally be set in motion, the gratitude for having job security for 4 years in the field of my choice - God sent. 

All the disappointment and any bitter thoughts that I once had faded away. I am thrilled to move to Australia again and am thankful that it worked out this way for so many reasons (such as distance from home, standard of living etc). Above all, I'm so thankful for all the help and support I received along the way and am privileged to still be receiving. Praise be to God (:

Once I start I seem to be unable to stop. More next time. 

Photo Update: 4th-5th January 2016

Despite now being 6 months behind my photo update status, I am still intent on finishing it up one day - I hope to be able to update in real time soon (lol). Here we go:

At this time, I was still dog sitting Jessy and Danny while their parents were away. Jessy was 16 years old and had skin cancer. As you can see from the photograph, she had painful looking red welts on her skin and on her mouth (not pictured). The vet said that she would not experience any pain from them though, and apart from the usual arthritic pain, she was fine. She was always happy to see me so that made me happy. In this picture, Danny is eyeing her food as usual because he finishes his in less than 30 seconds and wants more. 

Sweet girl walking me out when I left. 

Finally met up with Yulin after a considerable amount of time so we went to Skinny Pizza to have lunch and catch up. 

Can't say I think much of their pizza but the soup was good and the lunch deal is pretty worth it. 

January was a slow preparation month for the BFF team, this was taken during a group meeting. 

We also went for Korean BBQ for some reason, lol. 

My sweeties <3

At that time, Sam had gotten me a cat and nature themed colouring book. I had actually mentioned the colouring thing a couple of months prior but he did not want me to get started on a new obsession during the busy period of the semester. He actually got me this as a post-exam surprise/treat. Looking at this picture now, I realise that I haven't used it in quite some time. I was very delighted because I didn't like most of the popular colouring books but I loved that this one was all about cats and flowers  <3 I should find some time to use this book again soon. 

On writing.

Writing has always been a cathartic process for me. Even when I was younger and rather vain, and was basically unable to discern a piece of good writing from endless rambling, just putting down inexplicable feelings into words helped me to solidify them. Writing helped me to put my emotions into a concrete, understandable medium, and somehow that set me free. 

In the past couple of months, or even the last two years really, things have started to change. I'm not quite sure when it started. Sometimes it's scary to give your thoughts real shapes and faces. Sometimes when you do that, they morph into things much scarier, and understanding them incites more terror than release. 

I still want to write. At times when I think of the long hiatus that I've taken, I fear that I may lose touch with the flow of language, I fear that I will one day be unable to hear the cadences in my own words. 

I don't quite know how to round up my thoughts about this. I guess I'm trying to make meaning of the millions of tiny threads that flow through my brain and connect to my heart. I'm trying to understand why some things rile me up and why others make me sad, why I can cry at a stranger's wedding, and how I can be impassive in the face of personal tragedy. I want to understand, and sometimes I don't.