Andrew Landon x Nicholas Sparks

"Love is a funny thing. You expect it to be easy. You expect it to be a world of roses and laughs and perfect moments that you find only in movies. You expect her to always say the right thing, and always know exactly how you feel, or exactly how to react to it. You expect her to calm you down when you're yelling or to chase you when you run away. You expect so much that you feel entirely, and utterly defeated when something doesn't exactly match up with all your plans. But that's the thing. Love isn't a plan. It doesn't have a certain beginning and it certainly has no end or visible finish line to those deeply in it.

Love happens; it is so incredibly messy. People around you can't comprehend why you do the things you do, or why you fight so hard for something that seems to cause you so much pain, because simply, they can't see. They can't see the invisible ring of insanity that surrounds you when you're in love. It's inconvenient and painful and devastating at times, but we can't live without it. What you don't learn is how hard love is. How much work it takes. How much of ourselves we have to put into it. How it isn't worth it until we are complete and utter idiots about it.
...
It makes us crazy. It makes reality invisible and it erases all the lines that we shouldn't cross. Because love isn't about fencing ourselves in; feeling safe, feeling sure about the future. It's about scaring the fuck out of every nerve in our body, but pushing forward anyway. Because all the fighting and all the tears and all the uncertainty is worth it. And it's a hell of a lot better, than being 100% happy without someone to show us that there is a world of a difference between feeling 'happy' and feeling whole.

'So it's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be really hard. We're gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, you and me, everyday.'"

Time Warped

"We know that time has an impact on memory, but it is also memory that creates and shapes our experience of time. Our perception of the past moulds our experience of time in the present to a greater degree than we might realize. It is memory that creates the peculiar, elastic properties of time. It not only gives us the ability to conjure up a past experience at will, but to reflect on those thoughts through autonoetic consciousness - the sense that we have of ourselves as existing across time - allowing us to re-experience a situation mentally and to step outside those memories to consider their accuracy."

- Claudia Hammond

The Uses of Sorrow

(In my sleep I dreamed this poem)

Someone I loved once gave me
a box full of darkness.

It took me years to understand
that this, too, was a gift.

- Mary Oliver, from Thirst

Holland: Amsterdam

Left Utrecht in the morning to get back to Amsterdam! 

I was a little too slow at whipping out my camera, but there were cows everywhere! :3 

 Was extremely overwhelmed when I stepped out of Amsterdam Central Station. I've been in tiny country towns for most of the last 3 months, so much so that the sudden bustle hit me too suddenly. The sun was bright in the sky and there were hundreds of people walking in all directions. It was amazing. 

Exterior of the Central Station 

Stumbled upon a Cathedral on my way to the Anne Frank House!

Canals were even more common in Amsterdam than in Utrecht, literally one at every corner!

Unfortunately this was the queue for the Anne Frank House, it snaked around two buildings. Briefly spoked to a couple who was less than halfway up the line and they said that they had been waiting for 2 hours.... So I decided to give it a miss and trudged on. 

Mainly wandered blindly across the city, took trams and alighted where things looked interesting. The weather was perfect, I almost broke out in sweat - huge change from the cold that I've grown to become accustomed to. 

Chanced upon this market place, it was really colourful and full of little knick knacks!

So many books on sale! I bought two for only 1euro each :D

Vintage bags, one for 3euros and two for 5euros. Had to restrain myself here because I knew I would've had a hard time carrying them home if I did buy any. 

The famous "I amsterdam" sign that everyone takes mandatory pictures of.  I've no idea how anyone manages to do so because I stood there for a good 10mins waiting for various people to get off the alphabets, but someone else would always get on right after. So I gave up and just took a shot with all the other tourists in it :P

Being a weirdo who takes a self-timer shot at the bridge when hundreds of others walk by and stare, lol. 

Didn't visit the famous Heineken Experience because it costs 25euros to go in and I really didn't think it would be worth that much. Especially because I'm not even a big fan or Heineken, or... beer. 

Was craving for pizza so I walked a good one hour before finally finding a cute little place to have lunch! It was adorably named after La Traviata too :3 

Huge Margherita pizza that I had to take away because it was just too much for me. It was super worth it though, only 5.4euros! The tiny glass of ILT was 3euros, but at least it tasted pretty damn amazing. 

Got extremely excited to see froyo!

An American family helped to take this picture! My fringe was being a little bit of a joke. 

Found a nice little pier beside a huge canal and settled down to take a rest with my book. 

Accidentally took this picture, hahaha. 

This was the last photograph I took with my camera on that day because it blacked out after and I couldn't figure out how to make it work. It has been acting up quite a bit in the recent months, probably due to the fall I had at the Laplands. Have to get it serviced when I'm back home!

Spent the last hour wandering around "Dam", where there was this little outdoor amusement park. 

Chocolate/Candied fruits! 

Couldn't resist getting the strawberries for myself. Sat down at a random street corner like a hobo to enjoy it :P

Started walking back to the Central to meet Steven before checking my stuff out from the lockers and heading back to the airport. 

She was saying something about how it's important for us to be clean "inside", hahaha. Also, she told me that Jesus loves me ;) 

Had a last coffee together before saying our goodbyes, am extremely glad to have been able to meet up with him. It was such a lovely trip :D My flight got delayed for over 40mins and I spent most of the time up in the air in anxiety because there was a huge possibility that I'd miss the last bus back to Gunsta... this actually did happen, but fortunately, I was able to crash at Deborah's place. Woke up at 6am the next morning after a terrible night's rest and headed to school for our final Image presentation which went well. Decided to skip my poetry class and headed home to unpack and rest. Today, a couple of us are having a driving trip, will be in touch with nature for a couple of days and I'm so excited! Nice to be out of the house because it's still just me alone, and sometimes it gets a little too lonesome. Ciao!