Not everything has to mean something: August 2016

The Internet is a Hole

I feel like it's a touch too dramatic to say that I've been going through a hard time. To be honest, outwardly, everything is pretty great in my life right now. Save for some sickening administrative issues, I'm well on my way to embarking on a fully sponsored postgraduate degree (that's the dream really, isn't it?), I've a mostly comfortable job in the meanwhile which gives me loads of time to chill while earning enough money to save/spend/pay back debt, and things have been calm in my personal life (friends/family etc). So what the hell am I whinging about?

I'm not sure what I feel (lol what's new?). Anger // Jealousy // Betrayal // Sadness // Envy // Resignation // What? I can only conclude that this feeling is an amalgam of them all. I thought that with time, I would be less involved in my feelings about this matter (which is shrouded in mystery of course for the sake of saving my own face), but somehow I am not. I don't deserve the Internet really. I just dive into it and find things that I do not want to see, but yet so perversely seek out. I really deserve to feel everything I feel since I have no self control whatsoever.

"Maybe in a few years I'll be able to explain things better, but after a few years it probably won't matter anymore, will it?"
- Haruki Murakami

Photo Update: 18th - 22nd July 2016

I was clearing out my shoe cupboard and found loads of all shoes that I've forgotten about, successfully threw out/donated 20 pairs. I took a picture of this one because it was one of my favourites but I can't really do 4 inch heels right now haha.

Homemade chicken rice for dinner hehe.

It was a long day.

Brunch time with my Claudipie, we clearly over ordered and didn't even finish half.

Mentaiko pasta for her.

Duck tacos for me, I was amazed that they gave 4??? There was even mash below each one, I could only stomach two lol.

Night with my fav.

Qt little Charles.

Ah, my favourite sight.

Flew down to Chinatown so that this boy could get whatever-amazing-beer-blah-blah.

Uhm, over ordered.... The charsiew buns were AMAZEBALLS though.

Cakieeee :')

Hahahaha hipsters.

Midair

adj.: Our love rises and falls. So we must appreciate the moments when we're floating in between, when there's no need for gravity.

17th July: Reframing Modernism Exhibit

So in July, Kanika got us tickets for the Reframing Modernism exhibit at the National Gallery. We were super excited to check it out and finally made a date to go on a Sunday... only to find out that it was free for all on that day lol. I was slightly disappointed because the exhibit seemed somewhat unlimited with very few pieces from each time period/section, but we still had a good time:

I know the main intent was to check out the exhibits but there were loads of good photo opportunities too, and she kindly obliged me by posing hahaha.

Looks like us, complete with the dead eyes lol.

This was one of my favourites.

Hahaha look at that dude's face.

Oooo marble.

Loved these chairs. There were some piano/opera performances downstairs so we had a nice time just chilling and enjoying them.

Third-Party Grief

Perhaps I obsess about other people's past and ex-relationships so much because I can't let my own experiences go. Not in an, "oh I only ever loved you and now I can't have you" way (for both people and experiences). Just in an inexplicable, "there is loss here and it's not a bad kind of loss but I feel it so acutely," kind of way. And for that reason I think I grieve for people's pasts more than they do sometimes. Simply because I could never imagine myself recovering from a similar incident. I'm not too good with letting go.