Overall Update on the Big Things

We're just about halfway through 2016 and it has already been a tremendous year. I'd like to think that it's been a year (mainly) of triumphs. For a moment I thought of just writing a general log on what has been happening in a nutshell so as not to sound too longwinded or ramble-y, but then I realised that this is more or less a private-ish space. Who cares right??

It has been no secret that I've been working towards getting into a Speech Pathology masters programme for the past 3 years. Everything that I've done, academic or otherwise, has been calculated carefully to put me in a good position when the application period inevitably rolled around. My first choice was the prestigious MMedSci course at the University of Sheffield. Its application opened in October 2015 for the September 2016 intake - the one I was gunning for. I wanted to go there so badly because Sheffield ranks first in research, some key academics who contributed greatly to the Speech Pathology field are also academic staff there. Furthermore, I had been fortunate to become acquainted with 2 alumni from the course, a rare coincidence because they only take in 18-20 students per academic year, and both reported wonderful experiences. 

Yet the course was notoriously difficult to get in and knowing this, I pored over my application for 3 months before finally sending it in. Even then, I had a very low expectation of good news because I knew that I, with my couple of internships and observation, had little work experience compared to the local English students, many of whom worked a couple of years before applying. Yet somehow, a couple of weeks later, I was invited to a Skype interview - the last round before acceptance/rejection. 

To cut the already needlessly long story short, I bombed the interview and was rejected. The school did not even inform me of my rejection, I had waited 6 weeks before writing in to enquire about the status of my application and that was when I got the news. By then I was already more or less prepared to receive rejection but it still struck me hard. And I think that's the reason why I'm spending so much time talking about it now even though it's already over. To be honest, I never thought that I would even be considered for a position and would've been happy being passed over from the get-go. I think what made it such a bitter pill to swallow was that somehow, I made it through the shortlisting nightmare only to bomb out of the final round. The proud type A/perfectionist in me found this difficult. 

All this happened between November 2015 - early March 2016. I pushed down the disappointment (both in myself and in the situation) and went on the apply for the three Australian schools that I had in mind - Curtin University, University of Sydney, and Flinders University. Soon after that, I applied for the NCSS scholarship which I would've needed, regardless of which university I eventually chose to attend because I could not afford the fees and living expenses of studying abroad. 

Now I wish that I had written/blogged about the experience during that time, it would've been more authentic/reflect more accurately my state of mind. Basically, I was juggling my FYP in its final raging burst, teaching phonics, tutoring, coaching, and research work, on top of all the nitty gritty application processes. Thankfully, I manage stress very well and was still able to fulfil all my responsibilities due to my love for scheduling (lol Type A freak) and perfectionism. I still managed to have some rest once a week on Saturdays and was lucky to have a couple of good friends to keep me sane and grounded. Still, even though I felt more busy than stressed, and more tired than anxious, I still went to bed every night shattered with fatigue and was not let off by stress dreams. 

I could get everything done because of a certain survival instinct that I've cultivated over the years, perhaps because I grew up in a constantly competitive environment. Yet despite my smiling face, I realised that I harboured a lot of latent stress and pent up frustration (the latter is a story for another day), and that this stress was really chipping away at my good nature bit by bit. 

Fast forward to the present which is a lot less stressful and hectic, I have been offered a place at Curtin University (my first choice amongst the Australian schools and second only to Sheffield), and more importantly, have secured the NCSS scholarship which I had hoped and prayed so hard for. I find it difficult to explain the immense stress of having to jump through so many hoops (first the university, then fulfilling the conditions they set, then waiting on the scholarship without which I would not be able to get anything done) and the pleasure of finally having all that weight released.

On 18th May 2016, one day before my 24th birthday, I was having an early birthday lunch with Kanika when I received the email. 

Words cannot describe how I felt that day, even now it feels kind of surreal. I have never been a "scholar" before, hahaha. The immense relief that all I had been working for in the past 3 years was not for naught, the joy that my dream would finally be set in motion, the gratitude for having job security for 4 years in the field of my choice - God sent. 

All the disappointment and any bitter thoughts that I once had faded away. I am thrilled to move to Australia again and am thankful that it worked out this way for so many reasons (such as distance from home, standard of living etc). Above all, I'm so thankful for all the help and support I received along the way and am privileged to still be receiving. Praise be to God (:

Once I start I seem to be unable to stop. More next time.