Was rifling through some archives and found a little something that I wrote in the winter of 2011, Shanghai:
"A funny but amazing thing about the human heart is that it heals. We tend to think that things will never get better but often, we build bridges to the other side sooner than we think. That doesn't mean that it doesn't all come rushing back sometimes; sometimes all you need is a little something to spark it off. I've never been one to burn bridges and I don't think I ever will be. I don't know if it was the build up of emotions that I've suppressed consistently or the influence of spirits coursing through my veins, but for an instant, I felt the crushing weight of all that hurt rush back to bury itself into my chest. It is a heavy, relentless kind of feeling that I can't quite illustrate in words. It took me so long to extract myself from an endless circle of disappointment and delusion and I'm still trying to clean the slate for myself. All I want is to be able to give myself a chance to start from one again."
It's slightly strange reading what my 19 year old self wrote more than 2 years ago. I've found that it is indeed true, we do build bridges much quicker than we think we can. Maybe 2011-2012 wasn't the easiest years to get by in my adolescent years (was I still considered one? hahaha), but now it's suddenly 2014 and like most bitter experiences - they have passed. In fact, though I still feel the impact in the make up of my being even now, 2 years later, I'm no longer bothered by what happened.
I just want to thrust forward and be thankful for all I have today.
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